Haunted or Blessed? How would you describe your family experience?
As an astrologer working within the realm of AstroGenealogy[1], clients often describe their perspective of family as a feeling of being ‘haunted’…by events, circumstances, or lack of understanding their family experience. A great deal is embedded into carrying the feeling of a haunted family spirit.
“Haunted” can be defined as ‘having qualities (such as sadness and beauty) that linger in the memory’; things ‘not easily forgotten’ which have a hold on one’s ability to live and move forward with positivity and joy. This manifests in a myriad of ways including signs of suffering or severe anxiety.
I would consider my personal experience of family as ‘blessed’. We often think of the word ‘blessed’ as having a religious connotation, however the meaning can be much broader. For example, one definition is: ‘divinely or happily favoured; fortunate to have, do, or experience something’. Another suggests ‘bringing happiness or thankfulness’. These examples resonate with me.
I was blessed to have shared 50 years with my parents before my mother passed, followed by a further 6 years with Dad. The pain and grief of their loss aside, I am filled with love and gratitude when I think back on our lives together. Nothing has ever been the same without them, not even close. I miss them every day. My parents were not perfect, nor were we a perfect family. However, in one of the last conversations I had with Dad we were reminiscing and wholeheartedly agreed that ‘no matter what, there was always love.’
A first generation Canadian, born and raised in Toronto by English immigrant parents, ours was a small and close-knit family. I am the eldest of three children and, as siblings often do, we have had our challenges but mostly worked through those wrinkles over the years. We remain close, despite being separated by vast geography (Canada is huge!) and we are in touch regularly. When push comes to shove, we know we can count on each other…no matter what. Our parents were wonderful teachers and guides, though in our youth we may have considered them a bit strict…at least compared to other kids’ parents. However, we always knew that home was a safe place, Mum and Dad were always there when you needed them, and we were loved.
Each of us kids experienced family life differently. However, we each learned the meaning of responsibility, respect for others (particularly for our elders), the importance of knowledge and learning, the benefits of hard work and, perhaps most importantly, that life is not about material goods or wealth…it is about family, people, and the experience. Invaluable life lessons.
My passion for genealogy began decades ago. The stories my parents shared about their early lives growing up in England, and about their families, held particular fascination for me. Who were these people I ‘belonged to’? I needed to understand the connection, my origins and how the generations before me had influenced my life.
Family also had a role to play in setting me on the path of astrology. That began with the passing of my mother. My ‘blessed’ feeling of family had turned upside down and I was haunted by feelings of sadness and grief, a loss so deep that the pain was crippling. For a time I was ‘stuck’, not able to move forward or think about the future. Desperately searching for some indication that the connection between us did not end with Mum’s final breath, I stumbled across astrology. Even before I fully understood the basics, I was convinced that this was a tool that would help me connect all the dots. The links with ancestors and generations who had preceded me, and an understanding of what I believe to be the Soul’s journey…. a journey which would reunite me with loved ones in way that was yet to be discovered or understood. I had to reclaim my ‘blessed family spirit’ and astrology was the vehicle I chose for that purpose.
Well, as it turns out…easier said than done. Despite my commitment to the endeavour no amount of independent study, reading or research could resolve my questions or concerns. Clearly, I needed a guide or a mentor to help. They say, ‘when the student is ready, the teacher appears.’ And so, entered Mark Jones, an Evolutionary Astrologer. Working with Mark allowed me to become ‘unstuck’, to exorcise the haunting, to be able to think about the future and start moving forward again. It took time, but I finally arrived at a place where I could say ‘today I know I am feeling as good as I am ever going to feel.’ And I understood why…progress! I still miss my parents every day, but the work I do now is a way of honouring them and the life we shared as a family.
The genealogical research and evidence I have accumulated, together with an astrological overlay, has allowed me to understand the power and significance of our connections. Links of all kinds point to meaningful bonds and, with supporting anecdotal evidence (through stories shared across the generations), these are too profound and unmistakable to be ignored. Genealogy, Astrology and stories of family, crystalized in my passion for AstroGenealogy.
Research began with my own family and then expanded to include others. Initially, examples of well-known families helped broaden and deepen my understanding of the subject. It wasn’t too long before expressions of interest from family, friends, associates, and acquaintances launched my practice into this niche. Every project is unique and customized, helping my clients achieve results in ways which have been life-altering.
For me, ‘The Spirit of Family’ has come full circle. Not only do I feel blessed by my personal family experience, but I am grateful that I have been able to help others towards their own sense of gratitude and hope. While not all can say they now feel ‘blessed’, each one would describe their current view of family, at the very least, as a little less ‘haunted’. And so, the work continues. [jl]
[1] AstroGenealogy: A pathway to understand patterns carried through the generations of family to discover their underlying meaning and impact on the life of the individual(s).